Put You On The Game

let's meet contestant #1

he's a skitsophranic serial killer clown who says

women love his sexy smile

let's find out if his charm will work on sharon

sharon what's your question?

contestant #1

i believe first impressions last forever

so let's say you were to come over to my parents' house

and have dinner with me and my family

tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick

let's see

well i'd have to think about it

i might show up in a tux

ha!! but i doubt it

i'd probably just show up naked like i always do

and look your momma in the eye and tell her fuck you!

hurry up bitch i'm hungry

i smell spaghetti

i pinch her loopy ass and tell her get the food ready!

your dad would probably start trippin

and get me pissed

i'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips

it's dinner time

we're hearin grace from your mother

i pull the 40 out and pour some for your little brother

i'm steady starin at your sister i'll tell ya this

you know for only 13 she got some big tits!

after that your dad would try to jump again

and only this time i'd put the 40 to his chin

after your mom does the dishes and the silverware

i dry fuck her till i nut in my underwear

hehe haha

now let's meet contestant #2

he's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak

who works for the dark carnival

he says women call him stretch nuts

sharon let's hear your question

i like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions

a man who expresses himself in his own special way

#2 if you fell in love with me

exactly how would you let me know?

first thing

i could never love you

you sound like a richie bitch yo

fuck you!

but if i did i'd probably show you that i care

by takin all these other motherfuckers outta here

i'd go through your phone book and whack em all

and find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw

anyone who looked atcha would have to pay

i'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day

i'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist

let em go and watch em both spring up in your face

i'd sing love songs to ya

the best i can

getcha naked and hit it like a cake man!

then we go to the beach and walk through the sand

i'd throw a little in your face and say i'm just playin

as we spread it all out i rub your back

i'd grab your underwear and wedge it up your asscrack!!

well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensitivity

sharon it's a tough choice so far

sharon let's have your last question and see

which one is gonna win the rights to your neden

ok if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the same time

tell me

how would you each get my attention

and what would your pickup line be?

who ever's the smoothest wins!

ok first

i'd sliiiiiiiide up to the bar

and tell you that i can't believe how fuckin fat you are

i'd tell you i like the way you make your titties shake

and if you lost a little weight you'd look like riki lake

fuck that

you'd be jackin me quick

i'd order you a drink

and stir it with my dick

and then to get your attention in the crowded place

i'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

yeah freak her with your nuts yeah

that'll get her

tell her that she's fat yeah that'll work even better

look fuck you

i got a strong rap

shit

you don't want contestant #2 he's mad whack

i walk into a bar and there he was

standin up on a bucket eww tryin to fuck it

it was a big fuckin smelly ass farm llama

damn dog how you gonna dis your momma?