I make my living off the Evening News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose
Well I coulda been an actor but I wound up here
I just have to look good I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're down
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleamin her eye
It's interesting when people die-
Can we film the operation?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King