A fine romance with no kisses
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunt
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants
A fine romance with no kisses
We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder
But we just fizz like parts of a Seidlitz powder
You're just as hard to land as the 'Isle de France'